Yeah, I Think So

My horoscope from this week's Boise Weekly.



"Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it." So said the eccentric, outspoken, and hard-partying actress Talullah Bankhead (1902-1968). Can you guess her astrological sign? Aquarius, of course. Her greatest adventure came from trying to keep up with all the unpredictable urges that welled up inside her. She found it challenging and fun to be as unique as she could possibly be. I nominate her to be your role model in the next four weeks. Your assignment is to work extra hard at being yourself.

My dad is huge into horoscopes and so growing up I always (and still do) find them intriguing and somewhat fascinating. I do however hold my air of suspicion and maintain the fact that horoscopes are written sometimes so generally or vaguely that they could apply to most anyone. Then there are days when I read my horoscope and think....where are the cameras? This week's horoscope did just that. As I was laying in bed last night I thought about all the things I would like to put in my "journal" here but don't simply because I'm not sure how to go about putting it all out there without being a little terrified. Of course there are other people I need to consider when putting all of me out there for the world to see. So with consent, this week I will show the world (or the two people that read this blog) ME.

Spice of Life

 Today while mindlessly inputting data into the strangest system ever, I decided I needed music to make it a little less zombie like. Brandi Carlile is ALWAYS my number one choice for music to help me get motivated. There are so many things I love about her music but the the #1 reason is, I feel empowered when I hear her sing. It's the way she puts everything she is into her music, that I don't have to know her personally to know how she feels. When we went to Bend OR this last summer for our concert extravaganza Brandi was the last concert we went to, Mindy and I got close enough to touch the stage....I was in HEAVEN:) After that night I felt I could no longer hold in who I was and what I wanted for my life. Brandi has helped me be a better me and show the ones I love that I am happy and that even though happy/love might look different than it has in the past, it so very very real for me.

Music has always been able to reach places in my soul that no other medium can. I can be found some Sundays with a well of pooling waterworks while singing my favorite songs at church. Sometimes I put on the punk-pop I LOVED in high school/college just to get real good and angry when things aren't going the way I think they should. The Head and the Heart make my spirit happy and fills me with peace. Cello music makes my heart yearn for days past when I could have worked at my craft and maybe done something musically with my life, maybe nothing huge but something to keep my hands and mind quick and sharp. Something that so when I hear Mindy play the piano I could think to myself "I could play with her". It makes me sad now to know that I have forgotten how to play even one note, to know that music isn't even something I can sight read. Maybe it's those reasons that people who can make music amaze me and find a special place in my heart.

Sometimes I feel a little nerdy the way music can emotionally hijack me, but I also like to think of it as a blessing. It lets me know I am alive and that I am passionate about life and what it has to offer. It lets me know I am putting myself out there with possibly too much on my sleeve but that it is ALL me. It's one of the things that the most important people in my life love about me and I think scares others, because I feel things so deeply and can acknowledge it.